Sunday Reflection
Toxic guilt is a drive in oppressive hierarchal structures that deprives us of being authentic. In order to have resources to give others and contribute to society we need to care for our needs first. By establishing a connection with our own emotions and needs, we unlock the capacity to take ownership of them, which is a mark of maturity. Authentic empathy arises from this maturity and from attentively heeding our human conscience.
Toxic guilt has been a formidable force in my life, driven by the weight of oppressive hierarchical structures that often left me feeling trapped and voiceless. The constant pressure to conform, meet others' expectations, and prioritize the system's demands over my own needs led to a profound sense of inauthenticity. I realized that I was neglecting the most crucial aspect of my well-being – caring for my own needs.
Recognizing my own feelings and needs was a transformative step in my journey toward emotional maturity. It meant taking responsibility for my well-being, and acknowledging that I couldn't pour from an empty cup. Self-care became a priority, not as an act of selfishness, but as a way to ensure I had the inner resources to give to others and contribute meaningfully to society.
Through this process, I found that true empathy blossomed with my newfound maturity. As I listened to my own conscience and became attuned to my emotions while maintaining healthy boundaries, I connected better with others. Genuine empathy means respecting their autonomy, much like I learned to value my own. This is the ground for a true synergical connection rather than co-dependent power dynamics.
In embracing my authenticity, I began to navigate the oppressive structures with a stronger sense of self. I realized that by honoring my own feelings and needs, I could also challenge those structures more effectively. My journey taught me that personal growth and societal progress are interconnected. By taking care of ourselves and listening to our own conscience, we not only become more empathetic individuals but also agents of change in a world that sorely needs it.
I need to be myself.
I need to do what is best for me.
I need other people to accept me and my choices.
I need to be seen and heard.
I need to be safe.
I need to be free from violence and harm.
I need kindness and connection.
I need to be treated with respect.
I need reciprocity - giving and taking.
I need honesty.
I need compassionate communication.
I need consistency and people act according to their words.
I need others to respect my autonomy and boundaries.
I need others to be accountable and communicate their needs clearly.
I need others to be able to apologize and admit their mistakes.
Some thought inspirations:
An eye-opening lecture by Pia Mellody highlighted the crucial importance of recognizing our emotions as a fundamental step toward achieving maturity and the role shame plays in social dynamics.
Another interesting point about the difference between shameless moral superiority and modest conscience and what role it plays in the social systems by psychoanalyst Don Carveth.
Hi, I am Joanna Szproch, a middle-aged woman, a mother of an adult daughter, and an empiricist, and thinker. I am from Generation X, I was born and lived in communist Poland, experienced its transformation, and more than a decade ago I left to become a Berlin resident. Here is where I create, teach, and explore the mystery of life. I launched this channel to share my subjective observations and conclusions, that may be right, or not. This may be a good background for understanding my artistic practice, a place for a dialog, or perhaps another beginning point for us to create something new. I have a deep need to share my position without proving it right and I will be glad if it resonates with you. If it doesn’t please don’t follow.